AIB : Honest Engineering Campus Placements | Part 02
Dude, hurry up! Another company has come! Everything should look fresh Sprinkle some water! Do it properly! Everything must look fresh Look at his! This one’s tearing apart Cover it! Cover now This! You’ve kept the soggy stuff on top Why? Sprinkle! A very special customer is coming Understood? If there’s any mistake, you’ll be lying here next time Looks like they are here Hurry up! ♪Mass Recruiter♪ ♪Everyone’s saviour♪ ♪Mass Recruiter♪ ♪He’ll give a job to everyone♪ Look sir Absolutely fresh stuff Smell and see for yourself This, sir Chemical, Mechanical, and Civil, Electronics and everything is ready, sir A few have a backlog, but Everyone’s attendance is 50% minimum, guaranteed Rastogi Last time, Civil goods were defective Five students trained with us and left for the US for their master’s No, sir That won’t happen this time, sir I’ve checked it all myself Everyone has money troubles at home Okay Come sir, come Rastogi, close the deal at 2.8 lakh per annum What, sir!
Rastogi, close the deal at 2.8 lakh per annum What, sir! For that you don’t get pharma idiots- I mean Even pharmacy students are more expensive Neither yours nor mine 3 lakhs per annum By the way, What’s the requirement, sir? 6000 kilos 6? Hmm Done, sir, done I’ll get them packed Done Okay Rastogi, listen Yes, sir Don’t give me 30 students of 200 kilos each I know how you think Yeah? You’re quite naughty No no no I am not naughty, sir I am just cute Alright ♪Mass Recruiter♪ Come on, move! Squeeze in! Come on! No one sits! Fast, move! Aye, don’t sit! Get up! Hurry up! Get in! Squeeze tight! Listen Get them in quickly We need to get stuff from the next college as well Sir, there’s a problem Yes? We’re short some 150 kilos Rastogi! There is always some problem with you! Come on! Sir, there are two gardeners there They’ve done nothing all morning Let’s take them as well? Yeah, good idea Get the gardeners Sir, why gardeners? Do they have fingers? Yeah, they do We’ll make them sit for testing Get them in! Sir, we are still missing 70 kgs Rastogi, what’s your weight? Sir, You know, sir 68 Feed him 2 samosas and push him in ♪Mass Recruiter♪ ♪Everyone’s saviour♪ ♪Mass Recruiter♪ ♪He’ll give a job to everyone♪ ♪Mass Recruiter♪ ♪Everyone’s saviour♪ Failure! Aye, Average! Where were you? I called you so many times! Even left multiple texts! I was playing Counter Strike in the hostel, slept at 4am What happened? Done with the aptitude test? What’s the cutoff? What apti? What cut off? Everyone’s gotten placed! You too? I too got a job! What? Sorry, bro I’m glad I didn’t catch on to your CS addiction ♪We’d made promises♪ ♪We’d get placed together♪ ♪And now you’re leaving me alone♪ ♪Stop and turn the truck♪ ♪How did you land a job?♪ ♪With a 3 lakh CTC♪ ♪You’ll shit all over, there too♪ ♪Cause that’s what failures do♪ Sir Your ice-cream I didn’t order it I did And, mate, There is no way for me to know this but there’ll be another company Yeah I whole heartedly hate you two for getting placed before me I know it sucks to be you You know, Failure I was always happy that you are a failure Never felt that I am alone Come Have the ice-cream One minute You ordered this from Swiggy 15 minutes ago, right? Yeah so? You knew I wouldn’t get a job? Of course I knew! Aww Sir, another ice-cream You called for this too? I did You guys are really fast Guys! Oye, Average! Average, you cleared the aptitude test! What? So the point of today’s group discussion is to test your skills particularly in the field of nothing We could have given you a topic about current affairs but we aren’t aware of the news ourselves So to make our company look cool Today’s topic will remain abstract So the topic is Brushuasoo A phenomenon none of you have any idea about We’ll let you struggle for 20 minutes though we’ll take a minute to decide who is the least idiot among y’all Everyone understands? Let the fuckery begin then Before anyone says something relevant I would like to just take this opportunity to gain some points by just repeating what our judges just said The topic for today is Brushuasoo Thank you Thank you, Overachiever First of all this is my first GD so please let me speak I want to first ask this group what is he doing here? I had promised Failure that I’ll placed again today So bloody showoff I…I am an introvert so I’ll definitely be rejected in this round even though I have more technical knowledge than all of you here combined I am a bigger introvert and I agree with what he just said I rarely disagree with anything Let me just flaunt that one event that I organized in college and grab irrelevant insight from it and make this discussion from pointless to completely pointless I know which event she’s talking about She wasn’t even on the organizing team Go die, bitch Now I will take this conversation forward to absolutely nowhere Like I have deviated already Now I am just ranting But you too don’t have any points either By now, I should have shut up Please someone interrupt me Please do it It’s getting very awkward I’m this close to killing myself I’ll kill myself here if no one butts in I think she is right You’ll be married off anyway so what’s the point of a job? Excuse me! I just realized that I haven’t spoken till now So now I will resort to shouting because volume is important! And I will point fingers at all of you! At you! Look at my fingers! Your pointing does not make any sense Adding on to the scream by my dear friend Touch it! 13% Moderator, I have thrown in a random number But I am shouting still! And pointing! Corporate, GDP, economy Use of big words Global global world world You still owe the canteen So let him speak Let him speak Leadership points please Stop using my soap I’m in the corner, sir Here Here I am Even I can shout, okay? And even I can be an introvert Brushuasoo In conclusion, I would like to conclude that I have concluded So conclusion points, moderator Guys, I think we can all agree that I need a job Me too I have five already I agree! Me too