Esther Perel | Modern Love and Relationships | SXSW 2018


Esther Perel | Modern Love and Relationships | SXSW 2018

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100 thoughts on “Esther Perel | Modern Love and Relationships | SXSW 2018”

  1. Todd Schryver says:

    I'm 48. As a teen, I watched all of Joseph Campbell's The Power of Myth and all the rest, and, some years later, no exaggeration, DAYS of Terence McKenna. I laughed, I took copious notes, I was roused by the proximity to stories and context that changed my life. But this woman is an ayahuasca trip for all. I want to type that again. Listening to one and a half of her talks three and a half times, I'm blown away. This is where anyone who would brave an ayahuasca experience should start. I am also an initiate of OTO, have been since 1991. This woman should be heard; she speaks the words of the Goddess, as can be understood by little me.

  2. Roxy PREDESCU says:

    Paradoxes that we need to manage..Thank you, Esther!

  3. Rossmery Jerez says:

    Great Stuff but I think this whole complication will lead to the end of our existence. Time will tell.

  4. Precious Rubio says:

    Her talks are inspiring and mind opener for me.

  5. Lucas Brown says:

    Esther your eyebrows are almost as good as the amazing insight that you have given me of myself and just how short my shortcomings in my relationships have been. Thank you!

  6. Katherine Barr, TRA-Thérapeute, Montréal says:

    Wow !!!!

  7. dazed darla says:

    she's great. does she ever speak in new york? would love to go see her.

  8. Cynical Old Fart says:

    You should share evetything but never under any circumstances should you share your last Rolo 🙂

  9. Kobi Adigwe says:

    What’s the name of the pod cast

  10. Cornelia Clarapond says:

    a fast solution for improving intimacy is looking in each others eyes more and slow kiss your partner every day.
    You're welcome!

  11. Christine Escajeda says:

    Relationships are your story write well
    and edit often

  12. paul belfrage says:

    Magnificent!!!…She's nailed it again! Go Esther!

  13. ICRA Comprehensive School says:

    brilliant – Thank you much

  14. Anon Anonymous says:

    "Sex that is worth wanting", an honourable man/ woman, is sexy.

  15. Share Smithwick says:

    Esther, you could have changed history in 1971 if you were available as you are today. I would have listened. Great talk.

  16. Carmen George Weddings says:

    Fabulous speaker. #relationships #love #feminist

  17. AxelSituation says:

    She is gorgeous! I doubt she has any trouble finding a man.

  18. Elysia says:

    If we are going to work toward true equality we will match our intense efforts in helping women find power and voice, with our intense efforts to help men be able to share their heart and their vulnerability. And in such we will give people, people, human beings, the opportunity to be more whole rather than defined in these very narrow binary gender constructs.

  19. Elysia says:

    Relationships, people, they are your story. Write well. And edit often.

  20. zhenzhunaicha OO says:

    13:20 wow

  21. DarthYuYevon says:

    The more I here her speak on this, the more it seems that she is speaking about herself and applying it to other people. And people buy into it like Scientology. I think she make some great points, but overall it's her very memorizing opinion. I know I'm one of the very rare people who thinks this, but I'm also one of the very rare people who understand how ridiculous it is to choose being a Leftist or a Right wing person.

  22. Hoppy Bunny says:

    When she began utilizing the feminist definition of masculinity, I realized two fundamental things, if she's basing her perspective on a feminist narrative, of men, she knows nothing about men, and her mind is completely closed to any conception that men are far more complex and nuanced than the feminist cartoon caricature of men as a gender they have been force-feeding society for over the last 35 years.

  23. arktana says:

    By the name and accent , Esther is 100% Israeli

  24. matasuki says:

    Am I happy enough? Wow that's powerful. So much choice. Only a few mins in and I'm hooked.

  25. Soul Purpose Insights says:

    Have you heard of The Twin Flame Concept? Your dream of divine love and equality is about to come true Esther Perel.

  26. CikisHelyzet says:

    "There is no Victor Secret.. so we all know where the responsibilities have lain." cheers! … love you, Esther!! <3

  27. victoria ann zabaras says:

    Mgtow is a women-hater movement looking to make women slaves to men, disempower us, make rape legal, leave us in poverty and despair and value us mostly by our youth and physical beauty. To hell with that sheeeet. You scrubs can sit on each other

  28. Lorena Mendez says:

    She is the goddess of relationships, hands down! I am trying to get my teenage daughter to listen to her. There is so much heartache to be saved. She’s incredible! Words come so easy to her. She’s really the relationship GURU of this century. I can only dream of one session with this master and I’m sure it would be life changing. It’s on my bucket list. She is so inspirational. How does she make so much sense? I follow her and she does not miss a beat. Doesn’t matter your background or upbringing, she’s always on point. My dream is to meet her one day.

  29. Carolyn Figueroa says:

    Part of the sweetness of staying together is the good times and bad times is part of an adult relationship. Selfishness (me me me) rules the day. Also womens pay continues to lag in the workplace….which limits womens life choices

  30. phillip phil says:

    I am absolutely against her version that we want too much from our partners. This that is usually provide from all village in the past is very simply to be provided from 1 person now. For example if you want to visit other continent all you need is to bye a ticket. If you forgive your partner, you teach him/her to stay the same. To be married few times for the same person – there is no love, there is benefit and interests. Love don't tolerate replacement.

  31. Angela Yang says:

    WOW. She's brilliant. She tore that issue up…extremely detailed.

  32. Z&J Vlogs says:

    Working on self improvement for the new year & I’m so happy I was introduced to your work

  33. Jennifer Lam Lee Chin says:

    She's a power to be reckoned with.

  34. 090Bluebird says:

    is the audio working on this presentation?

  35. Soo Sun says:

    She is so gifted🙏

  36. 신디스쿨 BE REAL says:

    I love Esther! She gave me lots of insight. I totally agree with her idea. If there is anyone who want to know about truth of marriage? Visit ‘SHINDI SCHOOL’ There are many things we should know about couple relationship and adult attachment!

  37. Q Huynh says:

    For you my beloved, I will delete my apps

  38. SOKOLI FILM - Die Wahl für Halal says:

    Salaam alaikum and Shalom! Esther is an amazing intellectual women, who to my oppinion is bringing the classic thoughts backt to life, like family, social life, believing in one God and the meaning of sharing a life with someone we love.
    Al hamdulillah I have come across her!

  39. N Issa says:


  40. Vasilli Ryjikh says:

    What an amazing display of the English language. Well chosen powerful words like a razor. You can see how she enjoys saying them. Such a strong delivery of many of the difficult questions and ideas. Well done.

  41. 스테파니 Stephanie 조셉 says:

    In a world where there are more people on Earth than there have ever been prior to now, there are more people reporting their feelings of loneliness more than ever before.

  42. Kyla Schuster says:

    Wow wow wow

  43. Kristin Pierce says:

    the way I tink iz dis

  44. Imago Gestalter says:

    45 seconds in and I already know this is going to be a painful listening of contrived narratives, progressive fantasy land examples and outright misrepresentation of historical and biological facts! People like this and their inverted values are the very reason why the West is rapidly dying.

  45. ypsilon says:

    this the shit right here

  46. Iuliana Schnell says:

    You had me at "every fight and every fcuk" :))

  47. Darren Burke says:

    "The Quality of our Relationships determines the Quality of our Life" (31 minute mark)

  48. Sharon Joan says:

    The lives of women will not change unless the men come along— perfect!

  49. Coral Rain says:

    Much better than Christian or religious counsel. Till love dies is more realistic…consider the divorce statistics.

  50. Nose Trade says:

    True genius. A rarity

  51. Andrea Wisner says:

    Perfect discussion of ultimatums.

  52. Leoness Butterfly says:

    She should watch cutting off ppl when they speak… Without her audience, she can't speak.

  53. Lisa B says:

    "Many of these things are not problems that we have to solve, but these are paradoxes that we have to manage." LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this!!!!

  54. Esme Spring says:

    Brilliant. Timely. Needed.
    Now let them DELETE their apps ….

  55. Estelle Assala says:

    I marry an Hispanic and he was also abused and became abusive to me, I had to divorce because I was abused too. If only he had agreed to see a therapist I think we wouldn't have to have our children go through divorce and our fights.

  56. ICRA Comprehensive School says:

    Thank you Ester Again – I rewatched the video to see why I said -Brilliant – well I still say Brilliant, but this time I would like to add – The colonial educational structure is designed to separate individuals from their families and values and to expose them to such a myriad of disconnected subjects and philosophies that the person loses his/her personal sense of connectedness, strength and wisdom and is dependent on the professional – who forms part of the "elite to look up to" and to "believe" in cosumerism [that then feeds the broken ego] and hence break the original Divine Bond [the Soul Mate – true connection]. This "anti-religion" Western culture is driven through the militaristic English language terms we use to create the competition that drives people into loneliness and aggression [ for survival] – The term "opposite sex' drives the wedge very deep into the relationship of a couple, parents and siblings – the term "complimentary sexes" is one I use [which you calling for in this talk]. The vulnerablity of men and the need to find power in women within our "social engineered" society is what the term "opposite sex" succeeded in. The prophets PBUT were men who set the example of men who have been Guided to actualise their feminine [caring self] and their masculine [protecting self] – and that is the way truly faithful people created relationships, because they actualised charity in all spheres of life thus building true relationships through giving [which you advise here] and hence, they do not suffer loneliness [ the Soul Mate (God) is active in their divinely inspired relationship with others]. (biologically charity allows the frontal lobe [reasoning self to work well] while fears [driven basically by school examinations in early development] through isolation drive the back brain for fight, flight, and freeze – perfect for consumerism – that drive high profits] So when the faith is called into question by critical thinking we sit with crises within families and hence society breaks down to be helped by the highly profitable pharmicutical and legal industries. Yes we are educated to be dumb so that we become dependent consumers and isolated beings ready to collapse and presently held up by our phones and enormous debt. Thank you or reading it and for the wonderful work you are doing – Mogamat Faadiel

  57. Lisa Simpson says:

    What a fantastic person! Such a huge inspiration!

  58. Shirin Alipanah says:

    Wow… fantastic speech!

  59. Tom van der Lek says:

    Great video. Thanks for sharing this inspirational message.

  60. Jane Kuo says:

    May l have a translation for Chinese? Thank you so much

  61. yolanda colorado says:

    Maybe… HE IS HERE.

  62. Chuubie says:

    13:30 – 14:30 brilliant! 😹

  63. candacecastro1 says:

    "Stable ambiguity" – LOVE that description!

  64. Samy DJ says:

    Brilliant!!! Thank you for posting!

  65. TSMPimpDaddyPain says:

    Interesting talk, made some good points. Although the men and women unable to be friends thing is true for the most part, it's rarely a legitimate platonic friendship. At least one of them is usually attracted to the other and hoping for something more. They also have literally completely different brain wiring, reproductive strategies, personalities, hobbies, interests, life goals, etc. So it is quite uncommon that there is enough overlap of common interests and mutually zero sexual attraction needed for a platonic male/female friendship.

    Also, monogamy wasn't about "love" in the past and it still isn't about "love" now. It's still a business transaction.

  66. A PASTOR & A PRISONER Carter says:

    He hid the girl in the closet from his wife 🤦🏾‍♀️

  67. Stacey Go says:

    Learned about her from the Armchair Expert! BLESS UP

  68. Stacey Go says:


  69. Patricia Knook says:

    Love it, thank you Esther 🙏🏻

  70. ShotsFired andMissed says:


  71. Eric Perez says:

    The patriarchy isnt the problem, it's the degradation of morality, the degradation of social norms and destruction of modern society by way of secular humanism.

  72. Eric Perez says:

    Case in point…. epidemic of single mothers, STDS, divorces…. loss of morality, loss of valuing the relationship over primordial desires.

  73. Floor Maassen says:

    Esther, I would really love to see you talk about modern love and relationships with Jordan Peterson. I love your talks but I would love discussion about the topic. Thank you so much!

  74. Alcide Bouchard says:

    Wow…what a shallow and selfish worldview she has; rooted in ignorance. No acknowledgement of the need for and benefits that come from fidelity, sacrifice, agape love, studying and serving your partner. Maybe I just missed these essentials? Also no mention of the need for stability for the children. So much focus on what is meaningless.

  75. Lu Ana says:

    Suffer: When you don't have it.
    Suffer: When you have it.

    Welcome to the mind, who plays games with us.

  76. WalkOn Bye says:

    19:00 she starts breaking into the #heforshee bullshit. A total Man bashing session and how wrong Men are and how they need to pussify themselves so that foreign Men can walk in and shit all over your country and your way of life.
    Men stay the course your Masculinity is yours alone.
    Ladies, ladies, work until you drop dead from exhastion and fatigue. I am a Man, I love the competition the hunt the chase and the focus in business that my instincts demand. I love my masculinity you can love your therapy sessions.
    MGTOW for ever.


    Great understanding history of human relations and transformation of life. Wisdom and intelligence. Bravo Ester ! Thank you Israel for a great woman .

  78. Kirstin Strand says:

    Ester has just reminded me of why I choose not to be in a relationship. I've just gone through all these trials and tribulations with me, myself and I. Can I do it again?

  79. Omali Morathi says:

    She is amazing

  80. KeKe Nyte says:

    amazing ….and I'm only half way through

  81. Raider Rising says:

    agreed making both men and woman whole… important!!

  82. M.S.P. says:

    "…what you want is a beautiful thing and it shouldn't be the exception…" 💗 I felt that!

  83. nobody46820 says:

    I have the perfect solution and answer.
    You are welcome!

  84. Jordan Allen says:

    I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  85. stayseee1 says:

    the most profound words I have ever heard- I love her

  86. ID IL Band says:

    not a problem to solve with simple stemps but a prardox for us to manage

  87. Akim Lew says:

    We live in a so fast (relatively) changing world that life paradoxes result. From Dr. Bruce Lipton ,the Conscious Mind can control Creativity against the Subconscious Mind ; but the latter is much more powerful and working Subconsciously since early Childhood – is controlling one's Life through acquired bad habits . Unless One Consciously reprograms the Mind through reLearning as at early Childhood State.

  88. ruoweii says:


  89. Andy Rodriguez says:

    @19:10 the smartest

  90. ReCycle Spinning says:

    I think what she is not bringing up is that since the industrial revolution. We have gone to a nuclear family. >> 2 parents kids only. The extended family used to hold the couple together before. Just think about how much more stress is on the 2 people, best case scenerio?? The 2 parents have to not only financially support the kids and household, but also have to raise their kids alone. Usually this requires daycare for their kids. Which means even more financial stress and children nit raised under loving caring family
    .. when the genie got out of the bottle and we made our deal with modern conveniences, and materialism, we made our deal with the devil
    We no longer depend on family,, and interdepend on each other >>>>> but jobs and 💲💲💲💲💲. I noticed she did touch upon the tribes we used to be in. So yeah that tells you we have created 2 lonely people who have too many responsibilities and no sharing. Welcome to the material world.

  91. nato2panama says:

    "For most of history the soulmate meant God." In other words, we replace God with an imperfect, limited human being. I think this is a very important point. Would anyone want to guess why?

  92. james black says:

    This is a woman’s perspective Quite feminist ….ignores the true nature of women …all women evolved with men for more than one hundred thousand years , that’s where their responses to stimuli were formed men too ……this is not an answer for men only a dream for women and feminine men

  93. Amina Haffejee says:

    Very well said

  94. Donna Allgaier-Lamberti says:

    I listen to as many as Esther's blog posts as I can. I have found many pertinent take-away's. I see her speaking to many "younger" people who appear to want to know how to find and manage a relationship. As a 68-year old married to a 74-year old husband with early cognitive decline many new questions arise and the old roles have changed. Talk about a "paradigm change" that needs to be managed…. I would like to hear her talk about this latter stage of married life and the challenges and needs at this stage.

  95. Jen 33 says:

    Love Esther. Her teaching is current and introspective. Listen to all her talks and read all her books. My take away is that relationship is hard. I’d better make myself better and healthier first. Also, it takes two of similar minds to walk towards similar goal or destination. There’s no point to force a partner who’s not in on it.

  96. Troy2015 says:

    30:36 Because most men won't be in the future– when 80% have been rejected by women, and replaced by the technology of the Female Future.

  97. serge glazunov says:

    It's so amazing that somebody has so much love and empathy that come from such a history of pain and suffering and end up doing so much. Some people may think that it is horrific for me to say but if that horrible thing has never happened then you essentially would not have happened and it's everywhere if you look like that. Everybody really does have a purpose and thank God that you found yours.

  98. TheNeish77 says:

    love this woman! i wish she were my therapist! 🙂

  99. Normanizer Music says:

    This woman gets it.

  100. Statelesslife Unconventional Art Channel says:

    I adore you!

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