The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Almost Starved Herself To Death


The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Almost Starved Herself To Death

(crash) (slow gentle theme music) – [Narrator] Kimmy invites
D.J. to a pool party to celebrate her 14th birthday. D.J.’s concerned because unlike Kimmy, she’s
insecure about her body and won’t feel comfortable
in a bathing suit until she looks like this insane picture on the
cover of a made-up magazine. D.J. says she only has
two weeks to get skinny, and the diet starts now by
throwing these cookies away. She asks Kimmy how she stays so thin, and Kimmy demonstrates. It’s a casual mix of waste bins
and watching what she eats. D.J.’s taping half naked
models to the family fridge when Becky comes home. She says looking at these models is thin-spiration, to stay out of the fridge. Aunt Becky tries to tell
her about healthy food she can still enjoy. D.J. says she’s not trying to
think about any food at all. Becky says what really matters is keeping junk food out of the house. Uncle Jesse shows up
with a huge box of cake. D.J.’s not phased by the cake, and announces she’s going to enjoy this delicious and savory
water-pop she made herself. Jesse’s doing wedding research, and got enough cake samples
to murder a diabetic pothead. They invite D.J. to
join the frosted feast, but she says she’s fine sucking
this ice cube on a stick that even kids in third
world countries might see and say, “Yeah, no.” Michelle goes ham on that cake. D.J.’s frustrated, she only
lost half a pound in two days. Jesse says all she needs to
do to lose weight is work out, and they can all go to the gym and work out as a big family this weekend because that’s a normal thing
families do all the time. Danny makes D.J. a sandwich,
and tells her to eat up because they’re about to hit the gym. D.J. says she’s skipping lunch, and asks Kimmy if she wants the sandwich. Kimmy says it’s a ham sandwich, again, and she’s been eating her
lunch for three straight days, and doesn’t want another ham sammy. Stephanie overhears the sammy talk, and adds D.J.’s also been
skipping breakfast and dinner for three days straight, and doesn’t understand
how she’s still alive, on account of you need
to eat things not to die. D.J. promises to eat her sandwich, then promptly feeds that crap to the dog. D.J. says Comet is lucky because dogs don’t have
to wear bathing suits. Stephanie makes this face because she realizes
her sister is a dummy. Stephanie busts D.J. for
lying about the sandwich, and D.J. lies again, saying
Comet snatched it from her. Steph busts her for lying a
second time about the snatching, and when D.J. says she wasn’t
lying those last two times, Steph busts her for lying a
third time about the lies, which honestly feels a little nitpicky. D.J. tells Steph she has one week to look good in a bathing suit, and after that week, she’ll resume eating. But in that time, when D.J. will certainly
die from not eating, Steph has to pinky swear
she won’t tell anyone about her plan to starve to death. Steph reluctantly pinky sears to keep this slow suicide a secret. The fam goes to the gym, featuring a plethora of oiled
up muscle heads and women with thin strips of neon fabric
wedged up their assholes. D.J. wants to know the
best way to burn calories, those things she hasn’t had in days. Danny points her to a bike, and tells her to start slow at level one. D.J. does not have time
for that level one nonsense and takes that shit straight to level seventy god-damn five, what you know about it. The guys go with Michelle
for a cute B storyline. It’s Michelle doing cute workout stuff in cute workout clothes. It’s a real cute pallet cleanser from the harsh reality that a 14 year old they bailed on is about
to drop dead upstairs. Meanwhile, D.J. hits a new machine like she’s dying of cancer,
and this thing has the cure. Becky tells the guys to
join her in aerobics class. They say no way because it’s 1990 and (scoffs) aerobics? Until they see some of those women with fabric in their booty cracks and decide they’ll give this
aerobics a thing a fair shake, ignoring D.J. in the corner, about to have a goddamn heart attack. Aerobics class is whatever, who cares. The guys just post in the
back and look at butt cheeks. The aerobics teacher moves
these perverts to the front, and they start flailing around because they’re out of shape. It’s hilarious if you
have no sense of humor. Stephanie says D.J. has to
see this very bland spectacle. D.J. says she’ll be right there, and falls down faster than a
folding chair in a hurricane. She says she’s okay, and
just got a little dizzy because she overdid it. It meaning everything
except eating anything. Stephanie is sad her
sister’s about to die. D.J. comes down, saying she’s well rested, and nobody’s buying it. Joey said he made chicken parm, and invites her to taste the sauce. D.J. says she can’t taste the sauce because she just brushed her teeth, even though she definitely didn’t because toothpaste would
borderline count as food. D.J. starts yelling because she’s hangry, and says she’s going to dinner at Kimmy’s. Stephanie stops her because she realizes a pink
swear isn’t legally binding. She reveals D.J. hasn’t
eaten in three days. Her family warns her that
what she’s doing is dangerous because she’s riding a bus with no breaks to Crankyville that
ultimately will drop her off with her dead mom in hell. Danny runs after D.J. to console her with a boring story about
how he had body issues when he was young because he’s tall as
shit and lanky as hell, but it doesn’t matter, because your real friends
will like you no matter what, at least at this age before they start picking
friends based on things like who has a car, who has drugs, and who’d like you’d maybe
eventually sleep with. Danny makes D.J. promise she’s going to eat healthy and exercise. Then he takes her hungry ass downstairs. So what did we learn today? Food isn’t just some shit that’s stopping your
fridge from floating away. You actually need to eat
it in order to survive, and if you don’t eat food
for several consecutive days, you’re going to majorly fuck
your shit up, and maybe die. But if you know people around
you are watching their weight, don’t eat cookies out of
the trash in front of them or taunt them with a cake buffet or drag them to gym full
of impossibly fit extras when all they need is a gentle reminder that everyone’s miserable all the time, and the only thing you
can ever do about it is shove chicken parm in your mouth with people you care about. And if you see your
deliriously hungry sister talking to dogs about bathing suits, don’t wait until the brink of death to save her life because
her designated guardians will be too busy looking at butt cheeks to realize something’s horribly wrong. See you next time on a
Very Special Episode. (bell rings) (hinge creaks)

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100 thoughts on “The ‘Full House’ When D.J. Almost Starved Herself To Death”

  1. * says:

    “WITH HER DEAD MOM IN HELL” girl eye

  2. Anarchy Is Freedom says:

    Don't know why this shows up when I'm relapsing but that is. It was nice to laugh about.

  3. Solomon McQueen says:

    Then D.J. tried methamphetamines. Weight problem solved. Crankyville has a whole different meaning.

  4. Sacha Severov says:

    Level seventy goddamn five what u know about it

  5. KillaSin515 says:

    Moral of the story……Zack Morris is Trash.

  6. Ken S. says:

    What about intermittent fasting?
    shut the fuck up

  7. LORD JIMBLES says:

    That was a fucking funny episode

  8. PlanetSleaze says:

    Why would dogs be lucky for not having to be seen in little clothes when they’re always seen in no clothes at all?

  9. handidrummed says:

    Food isn't just some shit that's stopping your fridge from floating away lol

  10. poopz says:

    she was thick before thick was cool

  11. Muhammad Lee says:

    i wonder which olsen twin ate the cake

  12. Jason Schimonsky says:

    I just discovered these Full House videos. This shit is hilarious.

  13. Julianna Sequoyah says:

    Strips of neon fabric up their assholes 😂😂😂

  14. smile it's just a game says:

    Dj was always so much more impressionable than Stephanie which was always sad to me because DJ was the older sister.

  15. blackice says:

    Candace Cameron at age 43 looks 10x hotter than those "models" on those magazine covers. That woman is a mighty milf. Also, fuck Michelle.

  16. Seethi C says:

    The worst part is that DJ’s approach was close to being right, the ending resolution isn’t good advice.

    Fasting is a powerful method of losing weight when done correctly, and “moderation” simply doesn’t work.

  17. Annabelieve It says:

    This commentary was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.

  18. Joseph Roessler says:

    Enough Chocolate cake to murder diabetic Pothead🤣🤣😂😂I laughed so hard
    I farted.

  19. Trevy Singintoyobitchlikecarlthomas says:

    “Dj starts yelling because she’s hangry” 🤯😂😂

  20. Pilar Cuervo says:

    This episode is not funny but has a good moral lesson though

  21. S. Iacomus says:

    Seeing Aunt Becky in that leotard. 😍

  22. swooka689 says:

    Snake diet!

  23. swooka689 says:

    And now I’m 2019, fasting is in style!

  24. Wilson Allender says:

    DJ was such a fat bitch

  25. Transformation says:

    I needed to see this.

    Everywhere I go people are talking about fitness and weight loss and it just makes me stress out more.

    It shouldn't be that hard to be healthy. Just eat and move around. Live life! I'm so sick of this weight stuff. It's like our worth is tied to it. I hate it.

    If u don't like me because im fat, that's your problem and stay away from me.

    I just want to be free from the bullying and the put downs. But i cant controm ppl i can only control myself.

  26. Alyssa Rose says:

    Skinny people who think they're fat are so annoying.

  27. sasuke mf says:

    “Drop her off with her dead mom In hell” BITCHAJJDNSK

  28. Apollo says:

    I actually did that at eleven and twelve

    I'm better now

  29. Tamu Malone says:


  30. Vinnie x says:

    Now I want a ham Sammy

  31. water says:

    correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t 3 days the longest you can go before your body needs to be eased back into solid food because it’ll make you throw up if you don’t?

  32. Gabby Trombetta says:

    Fuck your shit up

  33. First Last says:

    “because she realizes her sister is a dummy”

  34. Shelby Benson says:

    I loved this as a kid in the 90s. Looking back it’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. 😂

  35. David Newsome says:

    Takes that shit straight to level seventy goddamn five whatcha know about it

  36. Nitty Gritty says:

    Slow suicide lmao

  37. קים רוזנברג says:


  38. Milli Macro says:

    Post in the back and look at buttcheecks

  39. Tayler Roese says:

    You had to eat

  40. Robin Taylor says:

    Too fucking funny.

  41. Hot dog 79 Cn says:

    Must u cuss so much

  42. Natalie Simmons says:

    “You’re gonna maybe fuck your shit up, and possibly die….” lmao!

  43. Valeria Ismerai Garcia Adame says:

    I had to be drunk to get all jokes

  44. Linny Crocus says:

    I find it depressing that the one going hamm on the cake is the one who grew up to have an eating disorder in real life.

  45. fresco brigante says:

    "Neon fabric wedged up their ass" 😭

  46. Mauro Garcia says:

    Not encouraging this however recent studies show we dont need to eat every day. Fasting can actually help weight loss however only if you have substantial fat for energy 24hr fasting is ok maybe a few days but not with heavy exercise and stay very hydrated

  47. jevicci says:

    Candace looks fucking amazing here.

  48. I Never Return Redbox Rentals says:

    "Drop her off with her dead mom in hell" lmaooooo

  49. Sophia Carmela says:

    “with her dead mom in hell” hahahah jesus christ

  50. Jojo Poole daily says:

    With her dead mom in hell really

  51. sidney collier says:

    Why does kimmy look like Corey haim???


    this is the funniest fucking channel

  53. Patricia Busch says:

    Danny: start out slow
    DJ: I'm cranking this shit up to seventy goddamn five

    I'm sorry I know its supposed to be serious but that shit had me hollerin!!!

  54. Sofia Valeria says:

    You are hilarious!!!!!

  55. Liz Smith says:

    I’d love to see (Save by the Bell) when that one girl was addicted to caffeine pills 💊

  56. Saira Darugar says:

    Steph reluctantly pinky swears to keep this slow suicide a secret. Stephanie is sad because her sister is about to die. Stephanie stops her because she realized a pinky swear is not legally binding. She’s gonna die and join her mom in hell. DAMN DUDE CHILLL

  57. Edward Oberon says:

    But dogs do have to wear bathing suits..

  58. Brian Jones says:

    “70 goddamn 5, what you know about”. I’m in tears.

  59. Nick Jethwani says:

    I don't like to eat in front of certain people & places.

  60. _miamour says:

    “featuring a plethora if greased up muscle heads and girls with thin strips of neon fabric wedged up their assholes”

  61. Bekah Boo says:

    Shes riding a bus with no breaks, that will ultimately drop her off in crankley ville with her dead mom in hell.

  62. Tim O'Brien says:

    I've never seen a chocolate (frosting) wedding cake. Has anybody seen or had one ?? " a plethora of oiled up muscle-heads & women with in strips of neon fabric, shoved up their assholes. " HA." I wonder if water pops will be a meal option for Aunt Becky in prison ?? I seem to remember another eppy where JD wastes food by tossing  it in the garbage. What a waste of food since there are about @ least  5 other people living there !!

  63. phantumgrey says:

    I guess this was before everyone discovered the benefits of a 7 day fast?

  64. toni g says:

    Lmfao “fabric in their booty cracks “ 😂🤣

  65. Marietta Kelly says:


  66. Maria Douget says:

    I don't want DJ to die.

  67. Mason Carter says:

    With her dead mom in hell lol

  68. Schievelbein Schievelbein says:

    To drop her of with her mom in hell lol

  69. Night Pain says:

    This is the only episode of full house I remember

  70. silverpairaducks says:

    Aunt Becky going to prison

  71. Hotobu says:

    Kimmy had a decent little pooter.

  72. SegaDream131 says:


  73. Pallavisree Tambraparni says:

    There is nothing funny in this episode of full house. The pressure to look good and be thin is in all girls and many go on crash diets and go to the extent of starving themselves leading to serious eating disorders like anorexia, which is where dj was headed. All girls need to watch this episode of full house before considering to go on any kind of dieting. There is a valuable lesson to be learnt here.

  74. Parkman says:

    DJ turned out to be the hottest of them all!!!!

  75. Late Night Cereal says:

    I don't think explaining episodes, as they happened, counts as pointing out the crazy shit no one noticed. You literally explained the episode exactly as it happened, blatantly. Idk what youre doing anymore. Saved by the bell episodes are actually funny, and kind of crazy, this is just…. Explaining the episode as it was supposed to be seen. Seems like a complete waste and you ran out of ideas. Time for this part of 'funny or die,' to be cancelled.

  76. Jack Mars says:

    Why doesn't Aunt Becky just bribe everyone at the party into telling DJ she looks thin?

  77. Tony Styles says:

    These episodes are just so well written 😂😂

  78. Crystal The AquaMarine Ninja says:

    I know this sounds weird but do Ninjago.

  79. Oranges and Salt says:

    DJ just doing some intermittent fasting

  80. Timmy M says:

    This version is a lot better than the actual show

  81. Guppy Melon says:

    **doesn’t eat for 3 days**

  82. Crystal Petruska says:

    And we're just never going to talk about how DJ WAS PERFECTLY HEALTHY, FFS.

  83. Rebecca Hopkins says:

    “It’s hilarious if you have no sense of humor” and that sentence sums up this entire show both lame old show and later reboot 😂🤣

  84. Rebecca Hopkins says:

    “That will ultimately drop her off with her dead mom in Hell” OMG I LAUGHED SO HARD I SPIT OUT MY ICE CUBE POPSICLE😂👍

  85. Mark Tomlin says:

    jesse's doing wedding research and got enough cake samples to murder a diabetic pothead lmao this guys a legend

  86. Simon Cowell says:

    I died at “That will ultimately drop her off with her dead mom in hell” lol

  87. Carol says:

    She didn't eat for 3 days, she didn't almost starved herself omg

  88. princesslexicon says:

    Stephanie is sad her sister is about to die

  89. MotherMetalhead says:

    What if I talk to my cat instead of a dog

  90. Not Known says:

    3:53 was way too far
    My mouth was hanging open when I heard that, holy crap

  91. Not Known says:

    Michelle is a mood

  92. Lady Stardust says:

    Série de transexuel! Sa se voit trop 😁 les filles sont plus grandes que les hommes! Elles ont les hanches etroites (si tu crois qu'elles sont larges c'est un effet d'illusion fait par de bons chirurgiens plasticiens dhollywood) regarder la petite elle a vraiment un visage de garçon un gros front elles ont la base sourcilière plus épaisse que les faux hommes de la série et le truc qui trompe pas, la vrai femme à toujours l'index plus court que l'annulaire! Véridique et l'homme lui la légèrement plus long alors ces séries de pédophile francs maçons très peu pour moi !

  93. kynnedi ! says:

    “Michelle goes ham on that cake”
    i literally chocked .😭

  94. Oblivion-Zeze Leaves says:

    Hypoglycemia, she basically got so starved for nutrients and food her blood sugar went down super low which caused her to collapse. I've had that shit from fasting/not eating enough and it is scary as shit. Y'all be safe

  95. my crazyyy life says:

    Why is her mum in hell ???

  96. Natalie Mira says:

    Takes rhat shit to level five lmbo 😹

  97. Monique Mustra says:

    Just to let y’all know
    This is season 4 episode 8
    ai’m watching it rn

  98. Mike F says:

    This was an episode that the Olsen twins should've remembered

  99. Michael Colgrave says:

    0:51 jesus christ that made me laugh, you're good… too good

  100. Nick EPP says:

    “…she’s riding a bus with no brakes to hell with her dead mom!” 🤣😂
    Anyone who grew up on that show knows how wrong that was!

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