Um, Actually: Bigger, Longer, and Wronger [Full Episode]
(upbeat jingle) – From Aragorn to Aragog,
nerds are passionate about a lot of things. But there’s something
they love above all else. That is correcting people. This is Um, Actually. (peppy music) Joining us today, Ally Beardsley. – Hey. – Adam Conover.
– Hello. – [Host] And Alice Wetterlund. (laughs) – Now the game is simple. I have on these cards statements about the properties that are nearest
and dearest to your hearts. Uh, false statements and
it’s up to you to find the thing that’s wrong
with it and correct me. Corrections must be
proceeded by um, actually. If you don’t, you won’t get a a point. You can also interrupt me at any time. – Great. – Just like in real life. – This is gonna come so naturally to me! – You guys ready to play? – Yes!
– Yes. – Question one here concerns Mad Max. Imparator Furiosa abandons
and betrays her leader, Immortan Joe, to liberate
his captive wives and bring them to safety.
(ding) – Um, actually, I don’t
know if you just misspoke but it is Immortal Joe. – No it is Immortan Joe. – What? (clears throat) Wow, this is awkward. (laughter) – Can I um, actually her? – Sure. – Um actually, it is Immortan Joe. – Great, we are halfway
through the first question. (laughter) Imperator Furiosa abandons
and betrays her leader, Immortan Joe, to liberate
his captive wives and bring them to safety. Immortan Joe promises
his War Boys an eternity in Elysium, shiny and chrome, (chime)
if they can, Adam. – Um actually, it’s called Valhalla. – That’s correct, it is Valhalla the Norse afterlife, Elysium
is the Roman afterlife. – Yes. – Some of the other wives
that he was trying to reclaim include Toast the
Knowing and Cheedo the Fragile. (laughs) – Um actually, they weren’t named that. – They were named that.
That’s the crazy thing. (all laugh) It’s bonkers how quickly this
society collapsed, right? – They still have the
race memory of Cheetos. – Yeah you know what I thought was crazy? Was how much screen time
that lead guitarist got. (all laugh) – Moving on to question two. This concerns Harry Potter. Of all the various forms of
magic we are introduced to in the Harry Potter series,
none is more powerfully evil than the Unforgivable Curses. Imperio, the Mind Control Curse, Crucio, the Torture
Curse, and Avada Kedavra, the Killing Curse. (chime) – Um actually, it’s not
called “Avada Kedabra” cause that’s too stupid, even for J.K. Rowling. – It’s Avada Kedavra. – It sounds like abracadabra.
It’s a little derivative. – I think that’s by design.
I think the intent was supposed to be like it’s
like, oh, these crazy muggles, it’s like, oh this is my
impression of a wizard, not knowing that’s the
murdering each other. – Ohhhhh. – But it also could just be dumb. – Um actually, there’s a
more deadly curse and I’m completely blanking on what it’s called. – You’re on the right track,
there’s certainly something more evil in like the
idea of a more evil magic. – Um actually, uh the abortion curse. (all laugh) I don’t know. – All these wizards are
having the same fucking like drawn out debate for years and years. – I have no idea. I love
Harry Potter, what the hell happened? – Um actually, the worst
one of magic in Harry Potter is the creation of Horcruxes, – Ohhhh.
– which is the splitting of a soul through murder. – I gotta read Harry Potter.
I just didn’t ever get it. – I love the movies. My DJ name is Fantastic
Beats and Where to Find Them. – [Host] That’s great. – No, no, no. – That’s great. – Why is that your DJ
name, why can’t it be your website or like a magazine
would make more sense. – A full magazine called DJ
Beats and Where to Find Them? – Oooh, my month’s issue came in! (laughter)
– [Ally] The January issue! – And you know what I
think is catching on, print journalism.
(all laugh) So I’ve been thinking
of getting into that. – Um, let’s see how this one goes. This concerns The Last Unicorn. As the last Unicorn,
known in her human form as the Lady Amalthea,
arrives with Schmendrick the Magician and Molly Grue
at the castle of King Haggard, we find that only six beings
call this massive castle home. King Haggard, his dashing son Prince Lir, Mabruk the Magician, a pirate
cat, an alcoholic skeleton, and the Red Bull, whom he has forced to kill every last unicorn.
(chime) – Um actually, skeletons
cannot be alcoholic. They don’t process alcohol.
The booze would fall right out of their ribs. – You would think that but
the scourge of alcoholism among the skeleton population is actually wildly understated.
– Oh no. – Um actually, nothing was
called Red Bull because it’s trademarked. – That’s what I was gonna say. – That would be amazing, they
spent years like animating it and then Red Bull was just
like, no no can’t do that. The Red Bull doesn’t kill
the unicorns, he drives them into the sea. – Right, I forgot about that.
– Because he’s trademarked. – Because he’s trademarked, yes. They were gonna be killed
and then Red Bull was like, this doesn’t match our brand. – Do something extreme. – Do something extreme
like go into the sea and then all the unicorns are
just like surfing their way across the waves. – That checks out. – Why the wizard’s name is Schmendrick? – Schmendrick, yes.
– That’s a terrible name. – Why? – The name itself is an insult. – Schmendrick the Schmendergator? (laughs) – This next question is on Starcraft. Two of Starcraft’s most
popular characters, Jim Raynor and Sarah
Kerrigan, are available in some levels of play as hero units. While Jim Raynor is playable as either a Terran Vulture Unit
or a Terran Marine Unit, or piloting the Terran
Hyperion Battle Cruiser unit, Kerrigan is only playable in the games as a Terran Ghost Unit. – Um actually, she is also playable as the Zerg Queen of Blades,
I mean, how would you? That’s a major plot point. – That is correct, yes.
– Oh my God. – That’s the main thing
of the game is that she becomes the Queen of Blades and she becomes a sexy alien hybrid. – You’re so furious at
how easy this question is. Queen of Blades is a very
dramatic nickname right? – [Adam] Yeah. – How do you get like, and
that’s started by her right? – So she starts out as a
normal psychic Terran marine. – Normal right. – Then she becomes infested
by the Zerg aliens and she like enters a chrysalis
and she comes out and she’s like covered with spikes.
– Oh I don’t like that. – And she’s like evil. But
also one of the really weird things is her character, she
becomes an alien and she’s wearing no clothes because
her like, alien exoskeleton is like part of her body but
her alien exoskeleton also includes sexy high heels. (laughs) – Oh my God, of course. – So like part of her body
is like this so she’s like always just like very. – She’s got an ass that won’t quit. – Yeah what if like the alien
from Alien was like also like way fuckable. – That’s called Species, Adam. – Yeah. (laughs) – Well this brings us to our
very first shiny question. – Okay. – Now, shiny question… – You don’t need to explain,
shiny questions is clearly a riff on the idea of a shiny Pokemon. – That’s correct.
– Which is that some Pokemon are special and a different
color than other Pokemon, they’re very rare. – Aw, damnit! – This is rare, special question. – That is correct but it’s
also worth no more points. Just a little bit different. – Just like the regular shiny Pokemon. – [Host] That’s correct. – Where they don’t actually
have any difference, they’re not more powerful or anything, just a different color palette. – Oh my God, stop.
– If a Pokemon question comes up, I’m gonna
wipe the floor with you. (all laugh) – So I am going to give you the topic. The first person to buzz in will get their chance to answer it. The topic of this question is Sailor Moon. – Yes.
– Motherfucker! (all laugh)
(harp notes and chimes) – Arrange these Sailor
Soldiers in order of their associate celestial body. – Oh this is two questions in one! – It’s two questions
in one, are you ready? – Yeah I’m ready.
– Okay go. – Okay, we’re just gonna. I’m so sorry. – Now is one of them Sailor Moon? (all laugh) – That’s my guess. The sun is over here. Walk us
through your Sailor Scouts. – I’m trying not to objectify them. – Sure, no. – Because I’m sure they have like hobbies and like a to do list for the day. – Hmmhmm. (laughs) – Venus. Moon. Mercury. Oh, I don’t know! I don’t know, no I don’t know. – I’m sorry to say this
is incorrect, Ally. – No!
(buzzing) (excited exclaiming)
(all laugh) – This is what it feels
like to be a woman! Huh. (all laugh) Uh, this is my guess. – Alright, I’m sorry to say
that is incorrect as well. – I don’t know how it could be. – Adam, Adam you finally have your chance. – If this is wrong, it
will be delicious to me. (laughs) – [Alice] Oh, the flavors. Wow, ooh. – This is the order. Sailor
Mercury, Sailor Venus, Sailor Mars, Sailor Moon,
Earth, Sailor Jupiter, however that is not the order in which they joined the Sailor Scouts, Sailor Moon was first,
Sailor Mercury then joined. Then Sailor Mars, then
Sailor Jupiter and I believe Sailor Venus joined the team last. – Adam, you are very confident
but the Earth is closer to the sun than Mars is
so this is incorrect. (all laugh uproariously) – Oh fuck you. – Otherwise, 100% correct. But the opposite of 100%
correct is incorrect. – Fuck you, I said I said
I knew about Sailor Moon, not astronomy, goddamnit. – This is the best day of my life. – Okay the most important question is what are you guys doing
with these after the show? – I was, yeah! – [Host] The last episode
we made a couple of mistakes ourselves, here they are. @Caiptain_Lee writes, um actually Representative,
not senator, Binks simply proposed that the
senate grant emergency powers to Chancellor Palpatine in order to deal with the threat of the separatists. Also, Padme Amidala was not Queen of Naboo during this event. Several things wrong there
corrected by @Caiptain_Lee. @helixd121314 gave us our
favorite fuck you with, um actually, the mascot for
Honeycomb cereal is named Crazy Craving and not
the Honeycomb Monster. @DCHShadow4 says, I don’t
think anyone mentioned it yet, but in episode three, you said Knuckles is the last surviving echidna. Um actually, in Sonic
Chronicles Dark Brotherhood, Nocturnus Clan survived
in the Twilight Cage. Notable character, Shade. They were in #191 of the comics. Unfortunately @DCHShadow4
spelled echidna wrong so I will award them no points. – No greater joy than a
correction gone right and no greater horror than a
correction gone wrong. – Oh yeah. – Question six here is
about Lord of the Rings. Denethor, King of Gondor, is
the father of both Faramir and Boromir, one of which
dies above the Rauros Falls, the other grievously injured
in the siege of Osgilath. (chime) – Um actually, he was killed
in the siege of Osgiliath? – Incorrect. – Cool that was a a real- – That’s what I was gonna say. It was a total guess.
– Oh really, so I like that, it was a good guess. – Um actually, he died under the falls. – No, no no. – Um actually, no this is wrong. – Go ahead. – I was gonna say maybe
it’s not like a king, maybe it’s like a different, maybe you’re like an emperor or something but no, it’s a king. – It’s a king.
– Yeah. – Ooh, um actually, he
wasn’t the King of Gondor. – That’s correct, Alice. – You were right and she took it! – Oh, what? (squeals) – [Host] You should be more confident. – Women! – Wait, but I said it though. – You said, I’m not going to say this. – Ohhh, okay. – The tide is turning.
– Denethor is the steward of Gondor, Aragorn is the king. They’re merely awaiting his return. – That’s right! – [Host] Yeah! – Literally if we watch the
playback, it’s you going this is wrong, I’m not
gonna do it and you’re like, yeah yeah, you’re right. Um actually, he’s not the king. (all laugh) and stealing the point! – Well, I was hoisted by my own petard. – That’s correct. – I’m the only one without a point. – There’s still time. – I’m not going to say anything but like try to get a point, it feels amazing. – [Ally] Damnit. – Okay, question seven concerns Halo. The title of the Halo Series refers to the Halo array, a series of colossal ring shaped superweapons
built by the Covenant to destroy their enemies
and assert control over the galaxy.
(chime) – Um actually, the Halo
array was not built by the Covenant. – That’s correct. – Wow!
– Wow. – Can you be more specific? – It was built by, and I
don’t know this specifically but I know how video games work, it was built by some older fallen race from the past and you’ve discovered it. Don’t know this for sure
except that’s the case right? – That’s 100% accurate. – Oh my God. – Because that’s what it
is in every fucking game. – Yes, they were built by
the Forerunners, which is a fallen race of much more advanced. – Same shit in Starcraft, yeah. – It feels right that you’re in the lead. (all laugh) – Question eight concerns Star Trek Every seven years, all
members of the Vulcan species, inclding Spock, science
officer of the Enterprise and half-Vulcan undergo Pon Farr, a state of mind in which Vulcans commune with the sum total of
their species’ knowledge through specialized Dilithium crystals. – I mean, uh that checks out.
(chime) – Um actually, it doesn’t
happen every seven years. No, it might happen every
seven years actually now that I think of it, sorry. – That’s alright. – Um, actually, Spock isn’t half anything. – Uh, no it was Spock.
– He’s full Asperger’s. (all laugh) – No he’s half-Vulcan. – He’s half-Vulcan. – What is it? It’s driving me crazy. – [Ally] Yeah, I don’t know. – Pon Farr is not a
communing of knowledge. It is a moment in which Vulcans basically enter heat and get super horny. – Right! – And if they do not fuck
someone they will literally die. – Yes! – There’s always a moment
in every Star Trek series where they decide to make
all the characters fuck. – Usually happens. – Generations happened in Episode two. – Episode two of season one. That is before you know
any of the characters but you have one question in your mind and that question is this
Data guy, does he fuck? And they’re like yes he does. – Gotta watch this show,
I’ve never seen this show. – You’ve never seen this show? – No, yeah. – Well you should listen to
my podcast, Treks in the City. It’s the foremost feminist
podcast about Trek, Star Trek- – [Ally] No. – And its Star Trek fashions. – No. – Yes, you can follow us
on iTunes and subscribe. Please don’t cut this out. (all laugh) – No, that’s fine
– Keep it in. – This brings us to our
second shiny question. – Woo. Your topic is mythology. (chime)
(all laugh) – [Ally] Whoa! – Adam didn’t even care what
it was, he was just ready to click. – I just want to do
the physical challenge. – [Host] Okay.
(harp notes) Okay Adam, we’re gonna play
a game called Fictionary. You’re gonna have to draw
a monster from mythology. Doesn’t have to be perfect
but we are looking for a few key features that define
that monster, make sense? – Yes. – The monster I would like
you to draw is the chimera. (tense music) Okay Adam, this is your
version of the chimera. – I took a whack at remembering
which animal parts it is. – Uh huh. – And I remember that that,
uh, there’s some of them have a human face, so a human face,
lion’s body, reptile feet, and then a bull’s tail. – This is largely inaccurate. Let’s go ahead and take a
look at what the chimera should look like. Here we are. – [Ally] Oh, what? – The body of lion, the
tail is a serpent and then there’s a goat’s head
growing right the fuck out of the middle of the back
for no goddamn reason. – What was I thinking
of with the human face? – You’re thinking of a manticore. – A manticore! – Now if you saw something
that we did that was wrong and you are itching to
correct us, of course you are, you can do that. Just tweet at the Twitter
handle on the screen right now. Question 10 concerns Buffy. – No way! – Oh man, Adam already
throwin’ in the towel. Willow, played by Alyson Hannigan, and Oz, played by Seth Green,
play a witch and a warlock involved in a long-term relationship. (chime)
Alice. – Um actually, Willow is a witch
and Seth Green’s character, Oz, is a werewolf. – That’s correct. – Oh nice! – [Host] Oz is a werewolf, not a warlock. At the time the show was
released, it was a bigger deal to be gay than to be
a witch or a werewolf. (all laugh) – You bustin’ Hanagan? – I do and so does the world. – [Ally] Oh yeah! – One of the most magical
things about that series is that she was so good at
acting that it made it hard to watch the rest of
the cast for most of the first three seasons. – I wasn’t allowed to watch Buffy. – Really? – No, yeah, anyone kissing
for more than like 10 seconds, my mom would just (sighs)
and change the channel and it was like a big deal. – Oh, I thought you were
gonna say because it was like a witch thing, you know? – Dark arts or something? – Like, my mom wasn’t super
religious but even she would sometimes just be like,
this seems a little satanic. – That’s awesome. – Yeah, yeah. – This question concerns Miyazaki. In Princess Mononoke, Ashitaka
and his red elk Yakul travel. (chime) – Um actually, Miyazaki’s
work is too important to be reduced down to the level of a game show. – [Alice] Wow. – It’s not something that we should be answering trivia questions about, it’s to be watched as
a spiritual experience. – That’s true but these are not questions, they’re in fact, statements. – Oh, that’s true. (all laugh) I’m sorry, start over, start over. – In Princess Mononoke,
Ashitaka and his red elk Yakul travel after their village
is attacked by a demon, discovering awar raging between
the spirits of the forest and the humans of Irontown. While the wolves and boars of
the forest are indeed fierce, a group of brassy loud
women in Irontown are busy inventing new guns to destroy them. (chime) – Um actually, the red
elk is not named Yakul. – The red elk is named Yakul. – Um actually, the women
aren’t making guns. – That’s correct. Can
you be more specific? – They are making like, dope shoes for themselves. (laughs) Like, uh armor. Like metalry. – Uh, you found your way
around like, sort of around the question that we were looking for. The wives are making gunpowder and iron. The guns though are being invented by the lepers in a small attic, that’s what we were looking for. – It wasn’t that the women
were inventing new guns, the lepers are inventing the guns. – [Ally] Okay, yeah. – Even still, you did find a
thing that was wrong with it and you did correct it so we’re
going to give you a point. – Oooh, yes. – That’s what I’m talking about. – I’ll take that pity point baby. – How does it feel?
– It feels good. – It feels good right,
it’s a high. It’s a high. – But crazy to be like, here’s a thing everyone should handle,
here’s your big weapon, we’re gonna have lepers making them. – Secretly in an attic. – You wanna be real
careful with those, right? Uh we now move on to our
final shiny question. – Oh shit. – Of the game. This shiny question concerns magic spells. (chime)
(laughs) – Uh Adam jumping in there
hesitantly as everyone else kindly yields the floor. (harp notes and chimes) – Now, made up worlds mean
made up words and no words are more made up than the
words for magic spells. Now, here is a table with magical objects. In just a moment, we’re going to put some incantations on the screen back here. – Alright. – I need you to match them
up by picking up the object associated with the
correct incantation and casting your spells. – I’ve seen some of these before. – That’s good. – Lockmore Danalora Lofashock Danu. Expecto patronum. This is the one that I know, Kamehameha. Is from…I wish that I
knew the rest of them. And Treguna Mekoides Trecorum Satis Dee. I think there’s one from
Dragonball and the rest are Harry Potter or some shit. – Um, that is very incorrect. (all laugh) – Would anyone else like to come swoop in? – Yes! – Alright, okay. – Ally, let’s go. – Expecto Patronum. Kamehameha. Uhhh, motherfucker.
(laughs) Oh uh, Lockmore Danalora Lofashock Danu. And Tujunga Valley, where I
used to babysit rich children. – You are, I think, more right than Adam but still wrong.
– No, I know. – Lockmore Danalora Lofashock Danu. Expecto Patronum. Kamahameha, do you have to say ’em right? Treguna Mekoides Trecorum Satis Dee – That is incorrectly pronounced
but correct otherwise. – Yay! – This could’ve been my comeback! – Expecto Patronum is from Harry Potter. Kamahameha from Dragonball Z. Treguna Mekoides Trecorum Satis Dee from Bedknobs and Broomsticks. And Lockmore Danalora
Lofashock Danu from Willow. – So that is- (thuds)
(all laugh) – Thought it was a bouncy ball. – Totally thought that was a bouncy ball. – Thought it was a bouncy ball. – Little known fact, the Dragon
Ball is not a bouncy ball. (all laugh) – That hit the ground so hard! – Could you imagine if it had shattered? – Um actually, it’s not a bouncy ball! – Our final question, as always, concerns real life skills. – Yes! (level up sound) Reading a gas meter is an important skill for instances when your
meter is inaccessible to the power company or when
you need to dispute a bill. Though it may look complicated, reading a meter couldn’t be simpler, for example, the appropriate
reading for this meter is 1-2-5-2. (chime)
– Wait, oh okay. – Adam buzzed in first.
– Um actually, it’s 0-2-5-1.5? – That is incorrect. – Okay.
– Oh, Ally has buzzed in. – Oh right, good. – Um actually, this reads 0-2-5-2. – That is incorrect. – Um actually, this reads under two feet. (all laughs) Cubic?
– Whoa whoa whoa whoa. – Um, actually. – Oh Ally has buzzed in. – Um actually, this reads
two hundred fifty thousand. – That’s what I was gonna say. – Yes. – One fifty. – I like where your mind
is going but it’s wrong. – Um actually, everything
is electric now and – this is dated.
– Yeah. – No, no you probably have a gas meter. – Oh it’s a gas meter. – (laughs) Ohhh. – You probably, maybe, your
stove maybe runs on gas. – I’m just gonna call my landlord. – [Alice] Yeah. – Hold on, I think I got it. Because if it’s one hundred
thousand per revolution then it’s gonna start with
twenty so twenty thousand. – [Alice] Why? – And then so that one is five thousand so twenty five thousand and then it would be fifteen percent
of one thousand so one hundred and fifty so twenty…
– I hate this. – No, no it would be no, ten percent. – Twenty five thousand
one hundred and fifty? – No. (all laugh) – Then what is it? – So the correct reading of
this gas meter is 0-1-5-1. – Thanks dad, thank you dad.
– Wow. – You’re welcome, you
read from left to right, taking the lowest number when the dial is between two numbers. Now if a number looks like
it’s exactly on a number, as for example perhaps the
second dial, you would look to the dial to the right.
If that dial has just or recently passed zero, it’s
completed a full revolution, therefore you take the
number it’s on, if not you take the lower number. So that is not in fact on
two, it is about to approach two but it is still on one. And that concludes our game. We’ve got Adam and Alice tied for first with three points each. Ally bringing up the
rear with just the one. In true nerd form, an
awkward handshake to conclude and that’s our episode. Join us next time for even
more hyper specific pedantic corrections on Um, Actually. And that’s it for the first
full episode of Um, Actually. To watch another full
episode right now go to Dropout.tv and start
your free trial today. It’s two for the price of none! Until the trial period is over. And then it costs money. But it’s not that much. So just give it a shot. I’m gonna give you the
topic, the first person to buzz in will get the question. The topic here is Star Wars. (chime)